When I use a word… it means just what I choose it to mean--neither more nor less. Lewis Carroll Although monolithically applied within historical geology, uniformitarianism itself is a non-scientific axiom. It represents the only possible hold on history for naturalists, since their positivism restricts knowledge to observation. It is demonstrably falsified by at least three tests for truth: (1) There is imprecision and potential contradiction in the definition itself. (2) Even a consistent definition contradicts empirical evidence of both modern processes and products of past processes. (3) Finally, the underlying concept of the uniformity of natural law, a necessary condition for uniformitarianism, cannot be justified within the naturalist worldview. Biblical history, which recognizes a revelatory basis for knowledge, is shown to be superior to uniformitarian mythology, and naturalism is shown to be without an adequate grasp on any history whatsoever.