The simplest explanation for radiocarbon presence in coal is that it was there when the coal formed. Radiocarbon dates of coal are typically 40,000 years, which obviously conflict with typical carboniferous coal geological ages of 300 million years. The viability of various evolutionary motivated explanations for the anomalous radiocarbon ages are considered, and the effects are demonstrated to be several orders of magnitude too small to account for the observed radiocarbon concentrations. The only reasonable explanation is the radiocarbon was incorporated at the time of formation, the geological ages are fictitious and the methodology of the 170 year-old Lyellian geological column is flawed.